THE ACHIEVEMENT DIGEST "TAD" Issue No. 83
“Achievement is an act of the will.”
 Gene Griessman, Ph.D. Editor

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QUOTATIONS
Courage
“Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once." –“Julius Caesar” by William Shakespeare,

(Act 2, scene 2, William Shakespeare, 1564-1616)

Vanity, all is vanity
"I found that negotiating with men's vanity gives one the best bargain, for one often receives the most substantial advantages in return for very little of substance.  For nations are like men in that they prefer a fuss made on their behalf to real services rendered." --Alexis de Tocqueville (French diplomat and social philosopher; his book “Democracy in America” is regarded as the finest account of the American national character ever written.  1805-1859)

Self-Defense
"As long as you have a job on hand that absorbs all your mental energy, you haven't much worry to spare over other things. It serves as a suit of armor." --Eugene O'Neill  (American playwright and Nobel Laureate in literature; 1888-1953). 

Bigotry
“A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.”   Bumper sticker seen in Saratoga Springs, NY

Self-Reliance
“…It's you — nobody else — who determines your destiny and decides your fate. Nobody else can be alive for you; nor can you be alive for anybody else. Toms can be Dicks and Dicks can be Harrys, but none of them can ever be you." 
-– e.e. Cummings (American poet and essayist, 1894-1962)

Joy
“I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.” –e.e. Cummings

It’s Alive
“The whole universe in its different spans and wave lengths, exclusions and envelopments, is everywhere alive and conscious.” 
 --William James (American philosopher and psychologist and the brother of novelist Henry James; his most famous work is The Varieties of Religious Experience; 1842-1910)

Choices
“There’s no future in doing what you’re pretty good at, if you can do what you could be great at.  Samuel Morse was a pretty good painter, but he walked into the history book when he quit painting and started working on the telegraph.”
--Gene Griessman

LESSONS FROM HISTORY:  WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU WRITE AN ORDER OR COMMAND

The name of Zachary Taylor will not be found on any list of great American communicators. But if Ulysses.S. Grant had anything to do with compiling the list,  Taylor’s name would be at the top.

Zachary Taylor--the 12th President of the United States who became a hero as general during the Mexican War--is scarcely thought of today for any reason. Yet Taylor was immensely popular in his day.

Taylor’s communication style could serve as a guide for any high-ranking leader in the military, in business, or politics.

Here is the way Grant described his old commanding general: “Taylor was not a conversationalist, but on paper he could put his meaning so plainly that there could be no mistaking it. He knew how to express what he wanted to say in the fewest well-chosen words, but would not sacrifice meaning to the construction of high-sounding sentences.”

Taylor became a kind of role model for Grant who served under him as a lieutenant. By the time that Grant got to be a general, he had mastered his old commander’s communication style. In combat, Grant was a man of few words, but no one ever misunderstood what those words meant.

All of Grant's and Taylor's written orders have been preserved, and are available for serious students of military communication.   Here are two examples: 

To General Halleck (military adviser to President Lincoln and senior coordinator of military affairs): 
 "I want Sheridan to be put in command of all troops in the field, with instructions to put himself south of the enemy and follow him to the death.  Wherever the enemy goes, there let our troops go also.  It will neither be done nor attempted unless you watch it every day, and hour, and force it."                                       (quoted in William S. McFeely, "Grant," p. 180)

To Secretary of War Stanton: 
"Every thing indicates the enemy are going to make a last and spasmodic effort to regain what they have lost and especially against Sherman.  Troops should be got to Sherman as rapidly as his lines of communication will carry them...If Gen. Rosecrans does not send forward the regiments belonging to Sherman as ordered, arrest him by my order unless the President will authorize his being relieved from command altogether."       (quoted in William S. McFeely, "Grant," p. 187)

You may not be a military leader, but whether you are or not, you can learn something from great military commanders.  If you find yourself in a command-and-control situation, the communication style of Taylor and Grant are great models to study.

“High-sounding sentences” may have an important place in poetry, a political speech, or a sermon--where words are chosen for their beauty, the images that they evoke, and their power to entertain. But when action is required, you must choose words that “there can be no mistaking” what they mean.
 
USE THIS NEGOTIATING PRINCIPLE THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT SOMETHING. 

You want an upgrade. You want a raise. You want a lower price on the car you’re looking at.

There is one unchanging principle that can make these desires come true.

Dale Carnegie stated it over and over in “How To Win Friends And Influence People.” Legendary motivator Earl Nightingale emphasized it repeatedly in his books and tapes and syndicated radio shows.

And what is that principle?

To get what you want, you must be able to give the other party something that he/she wants.

So learn to make your requests in terms of the other person’s interests, not your own.

Here’s an example.

Recently I booked a rental car to spend some time at one my favorite places in the world, Saratoga Springs. I had booked a compact-size car but was hoping for a complimentary upgrade.

But I had to remember that what I wanted was not what was most important.

Also I probably would not get much time to negotiate.  People would be standing behind me in line. Just a few moments would be all that I would get.

Frankly I didn’t have much to bargain with. I was a frequent user of their brand, and I was renting the car for a full week, not just for one night. That was it.

So here’s what I said when I got to the front of the line: “I’m going to be in your car for a whole week. Do you have something really nice that you could give a frequent customer?” Then I paused, gave a big smile, and added, ”who’s also a very nice person.”

It worked. The counter person smiled and replied, “Let me see what I have…” and then she gave me the keys to a beautiful, new, top-of-the-line Buick, one of their premium cars.

A word of caution. This tactic is powerful, but it doesn’t always work. No amount of charm, humor, or a recitation of the other person’s benefits will always succeed. If you reserved a compact car, that’s what you’re going to get.

But it is always worth a try.   Life is a long, continuous sequence of probabilities.   I’ve learned that one’s probabilities of success increase dramatically whenever you give the other person a good reason to do something good for you.

DON’T TREAT SUBORDINATES AND SERVERS LIKE SERVANTS 

The Ritz-Carlton hotels have got it right with its world-famous credo.  Every employee has to memorize it: “We are Ladies and Gentlemen serving Ladies and Gentlemen.”   

The point is, ladies and gentlemen can serve others without being servants. 

Americans have never interpreted "All men are created equal" as meaning that everyone should have the same amount of worldly wealth or hold the same amount of power.  But they do believe that every individual has equal inherent rights.  One way Americans will put it is, "Just because you have more money than me doesn't mean you're better than me."

The way some people treat barbers, valets, waiters, receptionists, and secretaries makes my skin crawl.  The other day I watched a man in a hair salon insist that his stylist cut and comb and re-cut and re-comb and re-cut his hair for a full quarter of an hour longer than she would have had to spend with most customers.  This for a $12 haircut at Supercuts! 

She patiently and obligingly cut and shaped each little tuft and individual hair that he pointed out to her.

I began to have malicious thoughts about him.  Frankly he was pretty ugly looking, and I thought to myself, “No matter how much work she does, it’s not going to help all that much.”

After the man finally left,  we laughed about it.  "He told me he's used to having lots of servants where he comes from," she said.  "If all my customers were like him, I would quit.”

Americans will accept delegation, and take orders from their bosses, but there is an almost invisible line between service and servitude that Americans intuitively recognize, a kind of radar.  Some social scientists will tell you that it's a reaction rooted in a core value--the American belief that all are inherently equal. 

From a practical point of view, if you're rich or powerful, don't ever give the impression that you think you're better than other people. At least not in America.  Americans may put up with it, but in their heart they're thinking, "Just because you have more money than me doesn't mean you're better than me."

(This is an excerpt from a book in progress—“How To Do Business With Americans.”)

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Whatyousay.com is a free resource that you can use 24/7.  Any time you want to find just the right question, the right phrase, the right reply to use in a speech or in a conversation, in an email or a business letter, take a look.  You will learn how to harness the power of your words. 

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